Hello, beautiful readers! Today, I am focusing on dVerse's MTB: Adding up with alliteration. Laura Bloomsbury invites us to write an Alliterisen. Here is how she explains this form:
This form is new to me, so it took me a bit to get the hang of it. She encouraged us to write about May, the first time of something, or something related to mathematics. Recently, I had a student share with me her emotional heartache over breaking up with her first boyfriend, so I decided to write about a first breakup.
(image courtesy of @HoAnneLo on Pixabay)
Brokenhearted
barely breathing, heart so heavy
feeling battered, broken - so much sadness
tears flow freely, can't contain
ev'ry pore purging the pulsing pain
darkness descends, sleep sought
drowns in despair, no known exit
feels like failure, wants what once was
Would you like to try to create an Alliterisen? Join us here.
Oh, that's so sad, Yvette! I remember my daughter going through some painful breakups when she was a teen/early 20s.
ReplyDeleteMy son did as well. It hurts no matter when it happens, but it's even more painful when you are young and it's your first heartbreak. Thanks for sharing, Merril! :-)
DeleteThis captures heartbreak so well, Yvette. You nailed the prompt perfectly.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Punam! I appreciate your visit. :-)
DeleteVery well done, Yvette! I remember that first heartbreak. It is devastating!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! :-)
DeleteYou’ve capture that feeling so well in your Alliterisen, Yvette; at least, that’s how I remember it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kim! I appreciate you visiting. :-)
DeleteGreat write and a nice read (despite being sad). I really like the awkward difficulty of reading the last four words.
ReplyDeleteThis was a big part of my conversation with my student. She kept saying she missed him and loved him. I walked her through acknowledging that the person she missed and loved was the version of him that she fell for at the beginning of their relationship, not the version of him who ignored her and lied to her and avoided her toward the end of their relationship. The broken heart creates a nostalgia that it clings to instead of accepting the new reality. I appreciate you visiting, Shaun! :-)
Delete“ev'ry pore purging the pulsing pain”
ReplyDeleteI think that is a process we go through whether willingly or not.
I agree, Melissa! It's part of the grieving. Thanks for stopping by. :-)
DeleteEric here. Gots a great flow to it Yvette!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Eric! I appreciate your visit. :-)
DeleteGreat use of alliteration, the topic you chose fit perfectly.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mrityunjay! I appreciate you visiting. :-)
DeleteI like the line "it feels like failure." Actually, it may not be.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Reena! Thanks for stopping by. :-)
DeleteA perfect ode to heartbreak, Yvette.
ReplyDeleteLauren 💞
Thank you, Lauren! I appreciate your visit. :-)
Delete