Hello, beautiful readers! Today, Colleen Chesebro challenged us to write a syllabic poem using the theme of transitions. She also shared a couple of poetry forms to try. One of those is the Diatelle. This form has the syllabic structure of 1/2/3/4/6/8/10/12/10/8/6/4/3/2/1. And if that isn't complicated enough, it uses a rhyme pattern of abbcbccaccbcbba. You can read more about it here.
Now, I'm not a big fan of rhymes, but I'm a sucker for challenges. So, here is my attempt a creating a Diatelle. Since the theme is transitions, I decided to think of the day my son graduates from high school or college and what message I'd want to give him. I hope you like it.
son
today
find
your way
don't
hesitate
the
future's yours to slay
you've
proven you're one of the great
you
pushed through your doubt to decide your fate
commencement's
done and now your future has begun
remember
failures that made you irate
but
those moments couldn't dictate
the
success you'd display
dream,
work, create
'till
you may
convey
done
A few of those lines almost made me give up, especially that last line. Trying to find a one-syllable word to rhyme with son that still fits the message was not easy. Graduation is such an important transition in life. I still have a couple of years before my son is walking across that stage and receiving his diploma, but I'm already so proud of all he's achieved. :-)
I almost ended there, but another poem came to me as I was walking away from the computer, so I figured I'd add this little bonus. There are so many transitions in life, so I wanted to honor another one. This time, I wrote a senryu with a 5/7/5 syllabic pattern (or at least, I think I did).
my
earthly life's done
see
you on the other side
celebrate
today
If you'd like to join in the fun, check out Colleen's post here.
Wow, Yvette, I'm in awe of your skill. I love both poems. 💗
ReplyDeleteAw, Gwen! I am honored by your comment. Thank you! :-)
DeleteYou definitely arose to the challenge, Yvette. And what a beautiful transition to choose for both poems. It's bittersweet when they walk across the stage and you can only hope you've done your best. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI will be bawling like a baby when my son crosses that stage, for sure. I'm happy you enjoyed both poems, Jan. Thanks for sharing that with me. :-)
DeleteWell done! That one feels challenging. You handled it well.🙂
ReplyDeletePat
Thank you, Pat! It was definitely a challenge. Syllables can be difficult on their own, and adding rhyme to it just makes it harder, but my brain enjoyed firing up the synapses for it. ;-)
DeleteYou have no idea how much those words mean to me, Colleen! Thank you. I'm such a fan of imagery, but it just wasn't coming to me, so I decided to just write from the heart. I guess it worked. Lol! With the second one, I originally said it was a haiku, but then I remembered the senryu. Then, I wasn't sure which it was since the poem could technically be referring to a season in life. I thought I might be stretching it with that interpretation, so I went with the senryu. I'm overthinking it, I'm sure, but that's what I do. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAmazing work,Yvette! Thanks so much for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Natalie! I'm so happy you liked it. :-)
DeleteThat is a tricky form that diatelle. Good for you. And I really like the senryu that it loosened and shook out!
ReplyDeleteThanks, D. I appreciate you sharing that with me. :-)
DeleteIt will be here before you know it! These are good words to give him.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kerfe! I appreciate you saying so. :-)
DeleteHi Yvette, these are both lovely and well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Robbie! I'm happy you stopped by today. :-)
DeleteSo much of what you wrote made me think of my own graduations, and those of my children. Our eldest grand is moving up to Middle School next year - And it will be a long while before we see our new great-nephews graduate. :)
ReplyDeleteI teach at a middle school, Jules. It's such an interesting time in a child's life. My son is in high school, so graduation is just a couple of years away. :-)
DeleteAfter such a lovely poem, I was definitely not expecting a bonus, Yvette! I like how the second poem has such a happy tone to it...
ReplyDeleteYours,
David [ben Alexander]
Thanks, David. I'm a big fan of celebrating life, even at the transition of death. I'm happy you liked the poems. :-)
DeleteI loved them both. Those diatelle poems are a huge challenge that you did so well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Denise. A few lines definitely had me wanting to pull my hair out at times. Lol! :-)
Deletewonderful diatelle. touching. and that last senryu is quite mysterious.
ReplyDelete-Jude-
I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me, Jude. :-)
Delete