Hello, beautiful people! I'm back today with a new poem for Colleen Chesebro's #TankaTuesday Poetry Challenge. This week, we are picking words from a random word generator Colleen created. The goal is to choose at least three words from the list below and create a poem.
I sat with this a bit, mostly because I have not had much time to be alone in my thoughts. It's been a week full of very long days. Combine that with a full moon about to burst, and I'm beyond exhausted. The full moon always makes it difficult for me to sleep or feel well rested.
Anyway, I guess because of my tired state, this is where my mind went. I've never written a haibun, and I'm not quite sure I did it correctly, so if it's wrong, please enlighten me so I can learn. From Colleen's cheat sheet, I read that a haibun combines a prose with a haiku (though I may have created a senryu instead). There are specific subject matters, and it can have different formats. This is what I chose to go with. I hope you like it.
Stormy Tears
I trace my fingers over the rough, brick façade of our fireplace. The dead logs lie within, cold and silent. Your needless death leaves me bereaved, trapped in my grief, alone in my suffering.
rainy days
tears stream down the glass
crushed heart aches
So, what do you think? I'd love to hear from you.Are you inspired to grab a few words from the list and create your own poem? If so, join us here.
Would you like to read some of the other fabulous poems written by other authors? Check them out here.
Oh, Yvi, this is so sad and beautiful. Have a wonderful weekend. Hugs, Harmony 💕🙂
ReplyDeleteThank you, Harmony! I have a former student who passed away recently, and I guess his family's loss is still in my thoughts. I'm glad you liked it. :-)
DeleteYvi, this is a beautiful heartfelt haibun. I think you've written a haiku because you use "rainy days." Haiku are seasonal poetry, while senryu tend more toward the human's feelings... which you also have in your poem. This might fall in the middle (zappai) but I'm sticking with the rainy days as a haiku. LOL! 💛 My next book will be a thorough analysis into these forms. Of course, writing Japanese poetry in English will always push the envelope.
ReplyDeleteThat is where my confusion came in because I started with nature but ended with feelings. I look forward to reading your next book while I continue to learn. Thanks for always helping us learn and practice the forms, Colleen! :-)
DeleteI think you expressed the feeling exquisitely, Yvette. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jan! I appreciate you telling me so. :-)
DeleteYou did extremely well on your first attempt at Haibun.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Reena! I've had read great examples through our poetry group, which has helped me learn the format. :-)
DeleteSo beautiful yet sad 💕
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and sharing, AJ! :-)
DeleteBeautifully expressed, Yvette. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Aishwarya! I appreciate you stopping by. :-)
DeleteThis was beautiful and tugged at the heart. Haibuns are such a wonderful format to explore, you did it well! Xo
ReplyDeleteThank you, Denise! You always write such beautiful haibuns, so I wanted to try it. :-)
DeleteBeautifully written, Yvette. Such a moving and sorrowful poem. Excellent job with the form. I love the combination of prose and poetry. I hope the coming week gives you some time to relax. Thinking of you <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Diana! My schedule will be hectic through April because of my son's sports schedule, but I will do my best to find moments to relax and rejuvenate. I appreciate the positive energy you send my way. XOXO :-)
DeleteHI Yvette, I think this is very beautiful. I read Colleen's comment and I agree with her assessment of the nature of this poem.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Robbie! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on it. :-)
DeleteI like the way emotions are dripping through your words Yvette. They are reaching my heart. - Balroop
ReplyDeleteAw, thank you, Balroop! I'm happy you felt it. :-)
DeleteI like how you transferred the feelings of bereavement into the dead logs and the tears into rain on the window. Very beautiful and poignant writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa! I appreciate you sharing that with me. :-)
DeleteYou're very welcome.
DeleteWell done!! Love what you did with the prompt response!! 💖🤗
ReplyDeleteI'd say you were spot on, Yvette! I hope you get rested up, soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mark! I rest on the weekends. The weekdays are nonstop from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep. Lol! :-)
Delete(Jules) Any death - expected or not can be difficult. I think you haibun is a fine tribute. May your students' memories be for blessings.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jules! I will always remember this student fondly. He was quite special.
DeleteYvie, I’m no expert but I’m certain this is a haibun. Yup. You rocked it. It’s so beautiful. I also attended a wake/funeral this weekend. As I stepped bout of my black funeral dress and removed my pearls (we wear pearls at funerals here) I couldn’t help notice how warm the string of pearls were. A stark contrast to what was inside the coffin. I had tears again.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with me. And thanks for visiting my dVerse post. You should come practice with us there as well. You’ll love it too. I know. I bless you and wish you miracles. Selma.
Thank you for sharing, Selma! Sending your hugs to comfort your heart. I wish I had more time to practice other styles of poetry, but I'm already stretched so thin. I appreciate you inviting me, though. :-)
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